Reviews

REVIEW – Xbox/Lynx Deodorant

Smell like a freshly milked Xbox

So, I’ve only ever owned one Xbox console. Technically 3, but the original Xbox I own I only got recently and it was gutted, and the other Xbox was a 360 that I just kind of stumbled on and never plugged in or anything. But the Xbox 360 I owned was a beautiful little machine, it was my first and only foray into the world of Xbox, and also my first seventh-gen console, followed quickly by the Wii, and much later I got my hands on a PS3.

Now, she was nothing fancy, but she did come with Viva Pinata and… One of the Forza’s? I think? I didn’t play it, I didn’t really pay any attention to it. But what I did pay attention to was, much to my dismay, the lack of games that actually appealed to me because I was a dingus that only played JRPG’s and missed out on FPS and other games until I tried Borderlands for the first time.

The most Halo I ever played was an hour at a friends house in multiplayer running over him for 15 minutes straight in one of those neato buggies. So, needless to say, I missed out on a lot and when the next generation rolled around, I stuck with Sony, even with my broadened horizons and love of more genres, my heart belongs to the Playstation and my beautiful old girl was out to pasture at a nice farm upstate.

Pictured: My lovely old girl in her new home

So when I heard the lovely folks over at Xbox ANZ were teaming up with the delightfully fragrant folks at Lynx, I thought, here’s my chance! I can finally dip my toes in those green waters once more without having to spend the money and buy the console! Excellent!

I made my way to the local supermarket last week and, to my delight, the range was on special, so I picked up a can of the deodorant. The body wash would have to wait for another day (as a good news site we will keep you updated if/when I get my hands on it).

I turned the can around in my hands, read the ingredients, which are only required by law, as the true method to create this is clearly from the milking of new Xboxes (free-range and Gears fed, of course). These are much less prone to the ‘red ring’ effect of the previous generation and thus, their product is purer and therefor bottleable.

Pictured: An artists interpretation of an Xbox ANZ member hard at work (their identity is hidden for their own protection)

Although one thing that did confuse me upon acquiring my new scent was the fact that the cans came in two varieties. Black, or white. I didn’t know what this meant, so I checked in with GTG’s resident socials guy/intern/teen boy and therefore an expert on Lynx: Will.

Yeah. Anti perspirant and smelly stuff. the black isnt real deodorant. my teenage boy knowledge.

With this information in hand and knowing I had purchased the black can, I felt a little cheated but persisted.

I was tentative at first, cautious, only spritzing a little bit on my wrist to get the idea of the scent. The official line is that it’s supposed to smell like “pulsing green citrus” and “kaffir lime and winter lemon”, with middle notes of “mint and sage” finishing up with “woody bottom notes of patchouli and clearwood”. Like the worlds least appetizing sandwich.

Let me tell you that when I spritzed it on, I didn’t smell any of that. Or maybe I did, but it was entering my nostrils too fast for me to register all of these things individually and instead I was left with the impression of, ‘it’s pretty okay’. I liked it. I mean I’m going to use the whole can and possibly buy a second can.

The graphics and gameplay are a little simple though, and while I appreciate the graphics offering up different styles of can and bottle, the gameplay of ‘press the button to win’ was a mechanic I thought we left behind in 2009, and yet, here we are. Though it still delivers a strong enough element of satisfaction to have me coming back for multiple plays.

Though the body wash would promise more immersive, complex gameplay, I have to judge on what I’ve got.

Smells good/10

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